Tuesday, June 19, 2007


Dateline Derelik: We had another corp PVP op Monday. As usual, we concluded almost 90 minutes of complete boredom by leaving Mojo behind in a gang warp. Soon after, he was engaged at the gate by one Battleship, two Command Ships, one Recon Ship and one Battle-cruiser. Our reinforcements flew in to "rescue" him, and the results were as you would expect. So another glorious streamer added to the ACU banner. To quote the senior pilot on the op "I just want to see a ship explode tonight... I don't really care if it's mine." It was. On a miraculous note, I survived the encounter. Weather report from Hell to follow.

Thanks for the praise for last weeks comics; it's so nice when the audience obeys the "applause" sign. As of yet, there's no need to donate to our legal-defense fund. In this comic, we've again stolen from out betters, and we want to give full credit. This comic contains a cameo appearance by Gabe, the illustrator from Penny Arcade. And by cameo, I mean we have kidnapped his image without any right at all. The Eye of Sauron is also shamelessly stolen from them. These guys are THE GUYS. They practically invented web-comics, or they were present while the angels were still planting dinosaur bones into the still molten core of web-comics, at any rate. If the internet had any justice whatsoever, I wouldn't even be allowed to link from this blog to their site. My computer would burst aflame, and the mouse swing up, as if propelled by magic, to hoe-slap me. Thus is the nature of their expertise in relation to our amatuerity (which apparently is not really a word). I would, as I did with Mr. George Lucas, like to thank them, in advance, for not bothering to crush us like the plagaristic swine that we so clearly are.

Moving on to topics NOT involving criminal and financial penalties; it's patch day! Hopefully, as you read this, you are creeping towards completion of Battleship V, or Clarity V, or some other ungodly long skill. If not, you have my condolences. You are, truly, stupid. If it's any help I know that at least 3 of the senior guys screwed up and will be riding out the patch downtime in the dumbest clones they own. Boo-hoo. I suppose that's a bit like reading about Paris Hilton's travails, while you await your next water-boarding at Gitmo. When you do finally get the chance to log back on, please (and I can't believe I'm saying this) follow Mojo's advice: DON'T buy anything on the market; DON'T do any mission you know you can survive through a server lag-crash. The first 24 hours will be odd, and uncomfortable. Think about new shoes. Sure they look great, and sure you bought them so you could finally get out there and start jogging. But take it slow. Stretch out. You don't want to be 3 miles from home with blisters on your feet and wild dogs on your tail. Or something. That analogy is a bit strained. I'm not sure EVE has ever been compared to feet before now. But that constant nasty itching sensation of athletes foot does seem a bit Mojo-esque.

See ya'll on the other side of the patch on Thursday.


Anonymous said...

eh? I had 1 BS and 4 command ships on my killmail, didn't see no recon nor BC. not that it mattered, we still died in a blaze of glory

SmegB said...

Ok, so I got my wish and saw a ship explode. I would've seen several ships explode my but I was blinded by all the explosions playing over shields, armor and hull. There is an old saying 'you learn from your mistakes', sadly here in ACU we learn to make even more mistakes!!
I'd also like to add that my dumb clone does have a full set of +3 implants in so nyah with bells on as I'm not losing much training time.

Another great comic guys, I can hear lawyers queuing up to sue the arse off you, but it is worth it. Keep em coming but try to keep the plagiarism to a minimum :)

Orontes said...

Oh. Sorry for the mistake. I didn't have documentation of EXACTLY what killed you, since I didn't die :)

Anonymous said...

Great Comic again guys.

I Think it was Robert the Bruce that first coined the phrase, if at first you don't succeed try, try again.

To be honest, on this occasion, I don't think we did anything wrong. We were unfotunate that such a formidable force were camping the gate. We all left safe sec knowing that we were probably going to die.

The good thing is that ACU has an indomitable spirit. We are like the old Timex watch commercial, we take a lickin but keep on ticking.

Oro, I congratulate you on not dying, but don't get carried away with your "victory". You only survived because you didn't warrant the effort from the gankers :-)

I look forward to the next time we all gang together and once more throw ourselves into the breach.

Raven: 150 mil

T2 Fittings 50 mil

The smug look of satisfaction on Oro's face at having survived intact: Priceless :-)


Orontes said...

Actually I felt a little left out for not dying. There is no table in Valhalla for the guys who were there watching while the heroes went gloriously to their dooms.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Oro, you don't want to go to Valhalla, it's full of Vikings. We await your arrival in Stovakor, the Klingon hero's heaven. Your place there has already been reserved :-)Kaplah !!!!