Dateline Derelik: We had another corp PVP op Monday. As usual, we concluded almost 90 minutes of complete boredom by leaving Mojo behind in a gang warp. Soon after, he was engaged at the gate by one Battleship, two Command Ships, one Recon Ship and one Battle-cruiser. Our reinforcements flew in to "rescue" him, and the results were as you would expect. So another glorious streamer added to the ACU banner. To quote the senior pilot on the op "I just want to see a ship explode tonight... I don't really care if it's mine." It was. On a miraculous note, I survived the encounter. Weather report from Hell to follow.
Thanks for the praise for last weeks comics; it's so nice when the audience obeys the "applause" sign. As of yet, there's no need to donate to our legal-defense fund. In this comic, we've again stolen from out betters, and we want to give full credit. This comic contains a cameo appearance by Gabe, the illustrator from Penny Arcade. And by cameo, I mean we have kidnapped his image without any right at all. The Eye of Sauron is also shamelessly stolen from them. These guys are THE GUYS. They practically invented web-comics, or they were present while the angels were still planting dinosaur bones into the still molten core of web-comics, at any rate. If the internet had any justice whatsoever, I wouldn't even be allowed to link from this blog to their site. My computer would burst aflame, and the mouse swing up, as if propelled by magic, to hoe-slap me. Thus is the nature of their expertise in relation to our amatuerity (which apparently is not really a word). I would, as I did with Mr. George Lucas, like to thank them, in advance, for not bothering to crush us like the plagaristic swine that we so clearly are.
Moving on to topics NOT involving criminal and financial penalties; it's patch day! Hopefully, as you read this, you are creeping towards completion of Battleship V, or Clarity V, or some other ungodly long skill. If not, you have my condolences. You are, truly, stupid. If it's any help I know that at least 3 of the senior guys screwed up and will be riding out the patch downtime in the dumbest clones they own. Boo-hoo. I suppose that's a bit like reading about Paris Hilton's travails, while you await your next water-boarding at Gitmo. When you do finally get the chance to log back on, please (and I can't believe I'm saying this) follow Mojo's advice: DON'T buy anything on the market; DON'T do any mission you know you can survive through a server lag-crash. The first 24 hours will be odd, and uncomfortable. Think about new shoes. Sure they look great, and sure you bought them so you could finally get out there and start jogging. But take it slow. Stretch out. You don't want to be 3 miles from home with blisters on your feet and wild dogs on your tail. Or something. That analogy is a bit strained. I'm not sure EVE has ever been compared to feet before now. But that constant nasty itching sensation of athletes foot does seem a bit Mojo-esque.
See ya'll on the other side of the patch on Thursday.